The Velvet Underground: White Light, White Heat

It seems safe to say that the Velvet Underground are one of the most overrated bands of all time.  Yes, everything they did was very, very, oh-so important, and all the album covers are iconic, and Lou Reed, and Nico, and feedback, and Warhol, yes, yes, so influential.  But have you listened to their records lately?

"White Light, White Heat" has a reputation as one of the first and best "noise rock" or "proto punk" records.  Noisy, it unquestionably is.  The thing is drenched in feedback, and not of the stylized, great-sounding Hendrix variety: we're talking raw explosions of guitar dissonance.  We're talking "Sister Ray," which is seventeen minutes of the same, distorted-ass three-chord guitar riff.  We're talking "The Gift," which is eight minutes of sludgy jamming underneath a stupid story that you probably thought was clever in high school but is actually kind of overwrought and meaningless.

"The Gift" could stand for the entire record, in fact.  Like much of the Velvets career, the whole thing is just so damn surface level.  It's goal is not to make you dance, and certainly not to MOVE you: it's to shock you.  It's to make you think, "Wow, these guys are so smart and clever!"  The first time you hear the super HILARIOUS IRONICAL ending of "The Gift"-- O. Henry lite, if ya ask me-- you think, "Wow."  But once you're over that initial state of shock, there's not much else to do.  It's hard to latch onto the actual music of "The Gift," which is based around TWO chords for, again, EIGHT minutes.  TWO chords, EIGHT minutes, no variation, no sub-riffs, no melodic ideas.  Yeah, important.  But good?

"The Gift" is an art project.  The Velvet Underground is an art project.  They had talent.  Lou Reed and Sterling Morrison were great guitar players when they wanted to be-- check out the riffs and solos on the band's excellent self-titled release for evidence.  They seemed capable of terrific rock and roll, but "White Light White Heat" is, by and large, NOT rock and roll.  It is arty noise, or noisy art.  And not even great art, because, once more, there ain't much depth to it.  It's all about visceral thrills.

Course, "visceral thrills" do work in rock and roll, and quite well, if done right.  "Fun House" by the Stooges doesn't have a great deal of variety or philosophical weight, but it is tremendous rock and roll, because the Stooges seem to believe in it, and the invest a time and effort into their music that seems to be too passe for super-cool New Yorkers.  The tracks on "White Light White Heat" that COULD be as exciting as, say, "Down on the Street"-- "I Heard Her Call My Name" and "Sister Ray" in particular-- are sabotaged by poor production and poor songwriting decisions.  The two-chord (see a pattern?) groove that occupies most of the space of "Call My Name" could have been masterful, like the band's later "What Goes On," but they spoil it with muddy drums and endless guitar noodling.  (How come it's cool when Lou does it, but lame when Yes does it, by the way?)

The two songs here that I'd say work as both great rock and possible art are, surprise, the two shortest and most "conventional."  The title track is a Phil-Spector-by-way-of-hell masterpiece-- everything seems pushed up to the front, and Lou Reed is in full-on bad-ass don't-give-a-fuck mode.  And "Here She Comes Now" is pretty!  (Though Nirvana would later turn it into the sort of "actually rocking" rock song that the Velvets were always too pretentious to attempt.)

The rest are just so terribly flawed.  Is is supposed to sound this way, i.e. shitty?  I don't care.  You can be lo-fi and still write engaging melodies (see Guided by Voices).  You can be noisy and still dynamic (see "Let it Bloom" by the Black Lips).  You can be arty and still FUN (see... shit... Richard Hell?).

Time to stop sucking up to the New York press, rockers.  A "knowingness" about rock does not indicate a "rockingness" about music.

ICEAGE: You're Nothing

Alternative rock, indie rock, rock and roll-- everyone knows it's sissy and lame now, so it's great to hear a band attempt what ICEAGE attempts on "You're Nothing," i.e. aggressive, high-energy guitar music, with screaming and feedback and noise and short, punchy tracks.

The problem for me here, then, is in the execution.  Simply put, there's hardly a hook to be found.  I don't mind this too much on the songs that attempt chaos (though even then, the band seems to be using chaos as a thing in itself, and not as a thing that can articulate, oh, cool songwriting ideas).  My beef is mostly with the songs that slow down and attempt something "arty."  They just don't work.  The guitar playing is not interesting enough, the singer is not dynamic enough, the rhythm section is mired in punk rock cliches.  At some points, the band even sounds TIRED, which is NEVER good for a hardcore-ish album.

But it's not an awful album, no.  I'll take a hundred copies of this record over whatever New Order ripoff shit money-grubbing useless tool band is playing on your local indie rock station.  Still, one wishes the album had more songs like its pretty amazing title track, which grabs hold of your attention and throttles it, with somehow increasing fury, for two minutes.  "YOU'RE NUUTTTTTHINGGGG"... That's a tremendous hook.  That's some Ian MacKaye shit.  That's what ICEAGE needs to do more.

The Walkmen: You & Me

Sometimes I put this record on and I think, "I wish every record sounded just like this.  You know, with a nice soft rumbling foundation of nostalgic organ, reverbed guitar, and deep percussive grooves.  And a guy yelling awesome lyrics on top."

And sometimes I think, a second later, "No no no.  There can only be one."

Fucked Up: Glass Boys

"Glass Boys" is a serious record made by a band that is doing exactly what they want to do.  As a 40-minute long reflection on aging, punk ethics, and the business of rock and roll, it has to count as a major success.  You'll find more quotable lyrics and potent observations in any one song here-- particularly if you select one written by Mike Haliechuk, the band's guitarist, who seems to me a far more efficient wordsmith than the occasionally verbose Damian Abraham, the band's singer-- than in the entire discography of, say, Green Day.  The arrangements are fittingly fleshed out and frequently, err, pretty sad.  There's a sense when listening to "Glass Boys" that it will be the band's swan song.

Which is a shame, because while "Glass Boys" is philosophically profound, it doesn't really "rock."  And if you ask me, the thing Fucked Up does best-- as demonstrated by their masterpiece, "Hidden World"-- is rock.  Early Fucked Up songs were smart, too, but they were also fun.  Fun as hell!  Is the political content of "Crusades" just a little more obvious than the political content of "Warm Change"?  Sure.  But one song feels alive, free, wild... and the other feels like a mechanism for distributing political content.

This brings me to the question that I think Fucked Up themselves discuss in "Glass Boys": is punk music even a reliable way to communicate complex ideas?  As time goes by, and nothing changes, I increasingly think, "No... It is not."  Because punk music is distorted.  Because punk music makes you sing and dance.  Because punk music is fun.  And because fast tempos often demand that lyrics be garbled.  And because garbled lyrics of the complex-ish kind often require very simplistic melodies to convey them.  Very simplistic melodies that are, in turn, not much fun to listen to after a while.

The melodies on "Glass Boys" are better than those on "David Comes to Life," I think, but they still feel restrictive, lame.  They wear you out.  Damian Abraham is a good frontman when, like his band, he has space to breathe, as on all of "Hidden World" and most of "The Chemistry of Common Life."  Here, he just sounds kind of... neutered.  It doesn't help when the production is dense like a mattress of rock... The only things the listener is allowed to pick out of the mix of "Glass Boys" are the things which the producers have decided to float to the top occasionally-- a stray guitar line, drum beat, or Damian.

All of which is to say I admire "Glass Boys," and I think it could be a classic album, but not because it is rocking or fun or even very good, musically speaking.  Which could mean it's an "anti-classic," or something.

8/19/13: Beck: Midnite Vultures

Midnite Vultures is Beck's most sincere record, as well as his best.  Unfortunately, Midnite Vultures is also fun and funny, which means that most critics were disappointed in it, at least when it came out.  A respectable rock critic near the turn of the century was much more likely to find power and profundity in Sea Change, a draggy folk record that sounds mostly boring now.  There's been a bias against the body in rock criticism ever since... I dunno... Sgt Pepper?... And thanks to this, any record by a white person that has attempted to make you dance in the last several decades has suffered in the critical papers.

But, yeah, this one is Beck's best.  The one where he perfects his strengths (the things absent from Sea Change; you know, like eclecticism and enthusiasm and unpredictability) and minimizes his weaknesses.  Beck's never been a great melody writer, sorry, which is why his folk records (SC, Mutations, One Foot in the Grave, the mediocre half of Mellow Gold) have never as good as his groove records (this one, Odelay, the good half of Mellow Gold).  Midnite Vultures weaves the hooks into the grooves, fusing pop and funk in a near-perfect tribute to the master, Prince.

And it never grows old.  The jokes here are both lyrical and musical and I laugh at them every time.  The banjo and pedal-steel breakdown on "Sexx Lawws."  The entire second verse of "Nicotine and Gravy."  NORMAN SCHWARTZKOPF!  The random, beautiful Johnny Marr guitar break closing out "Milk and Honey."  The ecstatic screams in "Debra."  "You make a garbage man scream!"

Beware, though: the record is fun.  So if you're a serious person, you might hate it.

6/17/13: Jeff Beck Group: Truth and Beck-Ola

Hey, whoa, these albums are a blast!  Like Zep without the pomp, like Sabbath without the evil, like a boozier, cooler, more distorted Yardbirds who just wants to blow your face off with ROCK.  Mostly bluesy stuff and covers, though that stuff's elevated thanks to the great production (dig that rhythm section!  yeahhhh dancin time!!!) and terrific voice of young Rod Stewart, who has a gruffness and manliness that way too many hard rock singers (weirdly) lack.  The non-bluesy stuff is real cool, too... A hilarious (given it's hard-rockin context) Nicky Hopkins instrumental, a beautiful pre-prog-piece called "Beck's Bolero," Jeff's wonderfully soothing interpretation of "Greensleeves," and a few excellent riff rockers.  There's nothing too extraordinary here, and nothing you'll hear on classic rock radio... But that's what makes it great!  This is enthusiastic, fun, unpretentious but not-boring rock music.

And here I thought Jeff Beck was just a big, stupid wanker.

5/30/12: Bruce Springsteen: Born in the USA

So what is this thing?  An epic compromise of Bruce's vision?  Or one of the most subversive "fun" albums ever made?  Either way, it's a jarring experience, for me.  If you gave me just the music to "Workin' On A Highway," I sincerely doubt I'd give it lyrics about abducting a girl and going to jail.  I probably wouldn't arrange the rather bleak lyrics of the title track around the simplest, most stupidly crowd-pleasing synthesizer riff in Bruce's canon, either.

Do we call this fusion of pop and art the work of a "genius"?  Or of a "sellout"?

I suppose these questions beg the larger question of whether "serious" lyrics always require "serious" music.  We've been told for a long time that, yeah, they do.  Hence, "Plastic Ono Band" is a serious album built on seriously minimal pieces ("Ram" is not understood as "serious," because it has colorful arrangements and a less confessional tone.  Bah!).

Isn't this a rather restrictive way to look at music?  Why can't we sing about never wanting to go outside again to the squeal of a fun, funky guitar riff?

I don't know.